Change

I know a lot of you have been wondering about Pedro. Everything is okay. They do not have lights or water, and had about a foot of flooding outside, which as of now is gone. about 2 days after the Hurricane, his cousins (which were the ones who talked him into coming to Texas) went to New Mexico. So Pedro is down in Houston by himself. Well, he said he wanted to come back here to be with me, but there wasnt much work. Yesterday he said that I need to find another boyfriend because he was going back to Mexico and not coming back. He said he does not like it here and he has ran into a lot of problems in America. I completely understand him not wanting to come back, but it hurts to know that he will never come back. I am making it through, and have prepared my self for this. But what I do not understand is why after we get off the phone, he text me and said "Good night, I Love you".. I didnt respond because I am not leading him on or going to be lead on myself anymore. So I have not talked to him since and I am ready to move on, Although I would like to still talk to him on occasion. 

Well enough about him... Last Saturday I had a conversation with my mom about how everything was not what I wanted anymore. My Job, house, roommate, etc... And surprisingly my mom said " You were happiest when you were in church" and she was right.. I really was.. So I decided to go to a new church on Sunday. I went to West Park on Middlebrook. All by myself! Which is a HUGE step for me.. I just kept praying to God before I went in and told him that this is for him, and I would not be going by myself if I did not have complete faith in him. So I went to the College group and it was HUGE... I met a lot of people and can not remember half of their names. But they invited me to go with them on their night out on Sunday. So I went with them to play Putt-putt and eat at Sam and Andys. I found a couple of people I clicked with and stuck with. I really liked that I could go around and just talk with everyone.. I really had fun with everyone and plan on going again this week. I am prolly going to try it out a couple more times just to make sure this is the church I want to go to. I am excited that I went out and tried to meet new people on my own. That is a big step. I also went today and applied at a Daycare type place for a preschool Teaching position. They said you do not have to have any experience.. I am hoping that they consider me, and hoping they pay well as well. I really think I am going to go to school for teaching. I absolutely love kids!!! I know they can be whinny, poopie, hungry, sleepy, etc.. But they can also be fun, loving, excited, innocent, etc.. Kids are our future, and I want to be a part of helping them grow and learn. I watched Katie again last night, and she is just the sweetest little girl. She gets agitated easily sometimes, but she doesnt mean to. I drove Katie for the first time today in my car to go get Mcdonalds for us. I sometimes feel like she is my little sister. I am getting to know her likes and dislikes. She never eats her fries in her happy meal. So I decided to get her apples and caramel instead. When she tasted the apples, I thought she was going to explode! She loved them so much!! they were gone so quick you didnt even know they were there. Yes the caramel makes a big mess, but it is easily cleaned up with a washcloth. She then became very sleepy and she went to lay down and asked if I would read her new Snowmen book. I read that book and she asked me to "Cuddle" with her. I love to sleep with her in her bed. It is very comfortable and so quiet(unlike my house). I slept from around 7- 11 when her parents came home. When I went back to my house I could not sleep because it was so noisy.. I miss the quietness.. Its been a long time since I have seen Katie, and it was nice to see her again. I will definitely look forward to next time! 

Today a really good friend of mine, Sarah Troutman, called me and came over since she just got out of school right beside my house. We went and ate at Mr. Gattis and got caught up on a lot. I love hanging out with her, it never seems like we have been apart that long.. we just start where we left off. I just love her. 

Anyway, I guess that is enough for today. Hopefully I will write tomorrow, who knows.. haha

Sienna

Hurricane Ike 2

Hi, another update. The outer parts of Ike are supposed to hit houston in about 1 or 2 hours. This should be rains and winds. They are saying about 2-5am saturday they are supposed to be in the eye of the Hurricane. I have been trying to talk to Pedro every 3 hours. I just got off the phone with him and he said that it was raining and windy. He said it was getting a little bad there. I have been watching http://www.maroonspoon.com/wx/ike.html all night. I am very worried and scared for Pedro. You can tell he gets a little frustrated with me calling him frequently, but he said he understands I am scared and wants to talk to me. We are preparing ourselves for maybe not being able to talk when it hits and tomorrow, possibly for a week. We have said our encouraging words to eachother and temporary goodbyes until we can talk again. We are still going to try to talk again tonight and tomorrow morning if possible. I am trying not to stress my self out too much, at this point he is doing all he can do to stay safe. 

I will update later. 

Sienna

Hurricane Ike

So, Just an update, I just got off the phone with Pedro and he says he is not going to try to leave Houston. He said, its just a lot of water... I am so scared and worried. I pray that the hurricane makes a change in path. :(

Stress

So lately I have been seriously stressed out. We are down to 7 people in the call center to answer phones, when we used to have 16. This makes work very stressful. My schedule everyday is: 

8-9 at the receptionist desk

9-10 faxes/scans

10-10:15 as many outbound calls I can do before getting an inbound call

10:15-10:20 Break

10:30- 10:40 Receptionists break

10:40-11:00 once again, as many outbound calls I can do before getting an inbound call

11-11:15(or 11:30)- Meeting

11:30- 12:30 Lunch Break

12:30- 3:00 are lunches and we are not allowed to do any outbound calls(this is a time where we have like 3 people on the phones)

3:00-3:20 re-route calls 

3:20 break

3:30-4:15 faxes/scans

4:15-5 once again as many outbound calls I can do before getting and inbound call. 

5:00 go home worn out and stressed

My day never stops and is nice sometimes because I moves so quickly... But I try my absolute hardest to get as much done as I can in one day. But it never seems to be enough, Even though I have received 4 Employee of the months and 2 most valuable player awards, I still get criticized by my supervisors saying that I need to get more done. I stress out every day trying to get everything done and I beat myself up when I come home thinking I need to do more tomorrow. So I did get employee of the month again this month which made me very happy, But then I heard a lot of other people saying "No matter what I do, I will never get employee of the month, I guess I am just not good enough" and then they say " I just wonder how OTHER people get it." There are only 3 different people who have gotten it all year so far, so thats limited people they could be talking about. I know that it is probably not me that they are talking about, but it hurts my feelings because I do bust my butt everyday there. I feel that I deserve every bit of that award. I cant help but feel awful that no one else has had the opportunity to accept this award. Some people have been there almost 2 or 3 years and still have not gotten it.  I am really beginning to really hate my job :(. Anyway, As My other blog has said, Pedro is in Texas. I thought that it would be good for me to move on, but I have been getting more and more depressed everyday. I used to go spend time with him everyday or everyother day and now I just go home and watch TV, Get on the Internet, and eat.. I get about 15 minutes of happiness when Pedro calls me, then when we get off the phone I miss him. It used to be a lot of fun going to his house and watching them eat something different everyday, watching the interesting mexican movies, listening to their music, and just conversating with him and his family. Right now there is Hurricane Ike going straight for texas. He is living in Houston which is about 30 miles from the coast... This makes me very very very nervous. I called him yesterday and he didnt even know anything about it. I told him and he said he couldnt leave because he didnt have any money.. I am so scared. I told him that I was okay with him going to texas, but not dying. According to a report I looked at on the internet, they are offering free bus services to some areas, but it didnt specify where. I told him that if he hears about one then he needs to get on it. He promised he would. I dont know what I would do if he died.. He currently does not have anymore minutes on his phone which scares me even more because I dont know when I will be able to talk to him again. He moved down there to get more work and he is only working 8am to 1:30 pm. and he is building pools. He said that he hates it there and wishes he was back up here. I have also been very stressed out about school... I was very excited about going to cosmetology school, but then I couldnt get a loan and that didnt work out. I think that it would be fun and I would love to learn how to do all of that stuff, but I didnt know if that was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I have thought a lot about Nursing and Teaching. I absolutely love kids and would enjoy teaching, but at the same time im scared I would get too frustrated. A lot of people say I should be a nurse, because of how much I care about people. I was thinking about being a prenatal nurse or a pediatrics nurse. I really am so confused about what I want to do for the REST OF MY LIFE... thats a hard decision. I may like something now, but how am I supposed to decide on something to like forever. Any suggestions??? Right now I am very discouraged, because even if I did decide to go to school, I would not be able to afford it and to live. I tried the working full time and going to school and I lost my scholarships. I am terrified to do the same thing over again. My doctor says that the reason I am having so many stomach problems is an increase in stress. His exact question was "Do you notice it gets worse when you are stressed?" The real question is "When am I not stressed?" I wish I could just relax and get my life on track. AHHH

Your all's advise/input would be great! 

Sienna

My First Blog!!

Hey everyone!!! 

Well, I decided to get a blog for the first time. My sister keeps telling me I need to get one, so I figured I would go ahead. So here it goes.. haha

So this weekend I decided to go see my sister. She keeps telling me that I need to come see her. Well, so Friday I got off work and kept thinking "What am I going to do this weekend?" (For those of you who didn't know, My Boyfriend, Pedro, move to Texas last thursday.) So I decided that since I was probably just going to sit around a cry all weekend since Pedro was not here, I would just go see my sister. So I attempted to call her multiple times and no answer(OF COURSE!!) Then I called her BF and he said that she was a work and would be off at 8 and was off on Sunday and moving this weekend. So, I thought, If I wait for her to get off work then it will be too late for me to drive. So I just went ahead and left. Thank God I finally got a hold of her when I was 20 minutes from there. So we went to the computer lab so she could do some homework and then went to her apartment and packed and started putting stuff in our cars. around 3 or 4 in the morning her creepy neighbor decided to come to the door to talk to us and then decided he was just going to walk right into the house.. after multiple hints of telling him we needed to get packing, He finally left. (in other words, waited for us outside on his porch) haha.. We finally got it all packed and went to sleep around 5 or 6 am. Chanel went to work at 10 am and I slept in till 12 or so. I went to Chanels work (TTU Cafeteria) and I sat around on my computer and ate breakfast, then snacks, then dinner, then more snacks. I was happy, Internet, TV, and food... And they were all free. What more could you ask for. haha. We then went to her new apartment and unpacked. Then went to the movies and saw Tropic Thunder, which was an awesome movie. Today we slept until 12 pm and went to eat at Outback, then went to Walmart. Chanel convinced me to stay at her house until dinner time so we could order pizza... So I did (of course, it's Pizza). I left there at 9:00 pm eastern time and got home 10:30 pm. It was a very fun weekend with my sister!! I wish I was staying in cookeville.

So, since Pedro has left it has been very emotional. I am usually okay, but when he calls me he is always so sweet and it makes me cry. On Wednesday night he told me he was moving to Texas. He said that he needed more money and his friends told him there were more jobs down there. So Wednesday night he came over and got a map that I had printed off for him off Google Espana Maps. I ended up crying like I usually do and so did he. before he left he grabbed my face and kissed me, then point to my head and said "Tu pensas todos dias yo siempre te amo sienna" Which means " You think everyday I will always love you sienna". He attempted to say it in english to because he thought I didn't understand, but I was just speechless and crying. He then Kissed his 2 fingers and put them on my lips and left. That was the last time I saw him.  Then Friday morning I got a text from him and it said " Te amo Sienna 2 mesas ok Besos" which means " I love you Sienna 2 months, ok, Kisses", I then text him back and said, call me often and I love you. His next text was "Ok Te quiero mami, Biquefo" which means " Ok I love you baby,... " and he put Biquefo, haha, he was trying to sound out Be careful. He is so cute!! and he tries!!! Then that night he sent me another text message with a picture of me and him and music playing and it said " I love you, Think of me" He has called me everyday since he has been gone and I end up crying every time because he just repeats "I love you and I miss you" He is just soo sweet. He told me today that he has been studying English and when he comes back he will know more. I really think that him going to Texas will either completely break us apart or make us stronger together. I am trying not to get my hopes up on him coming back, but I am not going to stop loving him either. I know a lot of you believe that it was impossible for me to love him, But I really fell for him. He is so sweet and never stops smiling. He just makes me happy. We do come from 2 completely different worlds, but I believe God has a plan. Whether it be us together or just friends, we have already taught each other a lot.  

Anyway, It is way past my bed time, and this small first blog has turned into a huge first blog... haha. 

God Bless,

Sienna